PRIDE, whenever you hear this word, does it hit you positively or negatively? There are surely numerous positive kinds of pride. We love it when others say, “I’m really proud of you!” It is right that we “take pride in everything that we do.” And almost everybody wants to reside in a place where neighbors show “pride of ownership.” All these expressions commune a positive type of pride: honor, respect and dignity that we can all embrace.
However pride does not look good always. It also can mean superiority, arrogance or conceit. This type of pride is merely based on self - seeking and it is damaging.
Self-seeking pride is destructive especially to relationships. And that is for the reason that the opposite of love is not hate but instead being selfish. C. S. Lewis, a great apologist and writer, shared something about pride: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man... It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone.”
So how can we resolve the problem of this destructive word? I have researched some steps that we can use to counterbalance our direction toward selfishness.
- Know and Accept Your Pride. Don't imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call "humble" nowadays: he won't be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who's always telling you that, of course, he's nobody. Probably all you'll think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him, it will be because you feel a bit envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He won't be thinking about himself at all. There I must stop. If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you're not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed. --C.S. Lewis You can’t resolve a problem if you yourself don’t know it exists.
- Always say – Thank you!. "Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves." - Henry Ward Beecher There is always something about expressing gratitude that removes our focus to ourselves and places them on the gifts we have received and also the people who have shared their blessings to us.
- Exercise Servanthood. An individual who is genuinely great is always ready to be treated less important. But pride always rebuffs servanthood, it’s because a prideful person wants to be catered always. Serving our neighbors entails us to center our attention on their necessities instead of our own, and this reminds us also that we are a portion of something larger than ourselves.
- Laugh Out Loud at Yourself. “I laugh at myself. I don't take myself completely seriously. I think that's another quality that people have to hold on to... you have to laugh, especially at yourself.” ― Madonna When you start to search for the funniness in your situation and behavior, you see it everywhere. Proud people are too serious. Through laughing out loud at yourself, you start to realize how silly you can be sometimes.
When your pride shoves you towards doing everything with excellence, performing your best, and finding pleasure in the achievements of other people, it is possibly helping you out to become a good leader. However if there is even a small hint of self – promotion or competition in it then it is perhaps having bad result on your relationship. And that can upset your leadership and worst your life. If that is true then do what I have been trying to do: shifting my focus to the needs of my neighbors and try the steps above.
