Pain is a friend not an enemy...

Pain is all I feel tonight...
It's all I have right now...
It's what my heart speaks...
It's what cause my loneliness...
It's the reason behind my silence...
It's what my body shout about...
It's the pain of loosing you...
It's the pain of loosing my heart...
It's the pain of loosing my nights thinking of you...
It's the pain of loosing my dreams...
It's the pain of loosing and forgetting my love for you...
But anyways, God maybe has a purpose for this pain...
Maybe we are not really meant for each other...
Maybe you really belong to her...
Maybe she really deserves you...
Maybe God wants me to stop my crazy illusion of you...
Maybe you really don't suit in my heart, it just so happen that I like you, that I love you somehow...
That's why I'm grieving this pain...
But I believe God will help me out with this...
And there is only thing I would love to do before leaving...
Somehow you'll know how much I like...
The whole you...
Goodbye Piolo...

How I wish I could make myself laugh always and would no longer dwell in in loneliness...

How I wish it's not just my mouth that widens or stretches when I smiles or laugh, I wish my heart also do. How I wish my laughter would suggest of my inner feeling or my inner voice but it was just too soft for others to hear. I believe that others would love to see my smiling but i never knew if they would also like to see my falling tears...
If only I could do something to make people understand me, accepts me, and love me for who I am.