Pain is a friend not an enemy...

Pain is all I feel tonight...
It's all I have right now...
It's what my heart speaks...
It's what cause my loneliness...
It's the reason behind my silence...
It's what my body shout about...
It's the pain of loosing you...
It's the pain of loosing my heart...
It's the pain of loosing my nights thinking of you...
It's the pain of loosing my dreams...
It's the pain of loosing and forgetting my love for you...
But anyways, God maybe has a purpose for this pain...
Maybe we are not really meant for each other...
Maybe you really belong to her...
Maybe she really deserves you...
Maybe God wants me to stop my crazy illusion of you...
Maybe you really don't suit in my heart, it just so happen that I like you, that I love you somehow...
That's why I'm grieving this pain...
But I believe God will help me out with this...
And there is only thing I would love to do before leaving...
Somehow you'll know how much I like...
The whole you...
Goodbye Piolo...

How I wish I could make myself laugh always and would no longer dwell in in loneliness...

How I wish it's not just my mouth that widens or stretches when I smiles or laugh, I wish my heart also do. How I wish my laughter would suggest of my inner feeling or my inner voice but it was just too soft for others to hear. I believe that others would love to see my smiling but i never knew if they would also like to see my falling tears...
If only I could do something to make people understand me, accepts me, and love me for who I am.

Busy

I'd rather be busy than doing nothing...
I'd rather be busy than smiling a fake one...
I'd rather be busy than standing alone...
I'd rather be busy than sinning..
I'd rather be busy than be hurt...
I'd rather be busy than watching you going away...
I'd rather be busy...
Just to forget you...

for those who read...

"Beloved Child, your humor is my own.
Let us laugh out loud together and celebrate our Oneness.
When you hear your own laugh, you are hearing My Voice."

Swimming Venture!

Aloha! Howdy my friends? Did you miss me? Well, don't frown nor be sad cause I'm back!>hehehe<... At last I'm back to my other world! With my 48 years of loss in wilderness, I have so many things to share to you guys and because of it I don't know where to start... Hmmm...hmm...hmmm...think!think!think! Gotcha! I think it would be better to start of with our swimming venture at Cagsawa Resort... Ready?.. (let's count first 1...2...3!) May 24, 2009 around 1:00 pm, I with my outgoing and enthusiastic fellas, invaded the lull place of Cagsawa Resort. Actually , it was last month suggestion of some youth but by unknown reason it was always post poned. However, due to persistent of the young people and due also to the heat of the summer at last we've decided to persue the plan. Since we can't afford for a luxurios beach resort, we went to a cheap but serene spot of nothing else but the nearest Cagsawa Resort. After an hour of ride and a minute of walk, we had reached our destination. With an awe and great fascination of God's creation, we'd continue our walk until we'd entered the uncrowded area of the spot. Ensuing our entrance fee, we proceed to the pool. But before plunging to the cool pool, we'd agree to pray first for the other ministry of God through our bro Paul in Barcelona which was continously hindered by the Satan. Afterwards, we'd unpacked our "baons" and started to indulge our self followed by a non-stop picture takings and for the most awaited swimming moment which everybody enjoyed! Along with those details, I would like also to share some of the pictures taken during our siesta moments... Furthermore, I have included some captions with my fellas permissions!(hehehe) >kanya-kanyang trip ito

Presenting Our Cagsawa Getaway!

The Fellas...!




Our own outgoing Promoter with her amiable "anak" and assistant of this getaway...
>with an unidentified drowning object on background<

Our alluring camera provider with our camera man at the back...

Our vibrant financer...!

Our cute and adorable guardians...



And lastly the "SSS" >Sariling Sikap Society<...

Our heartbreaking stance...

The cast of "Ano ba Talaga Ina?"
Cast:
In pink: Te Shie
In white: Te Iris
In black: Dexter
In green: Rairai (yours truly)
In black (too): Rhiz
In red and white: Dha

The cast of "Kanya-Kanya"

The forest and friends! hahaha

What's up there guys?!

Always the best!

What can you say huh?!

Looks like they were jealuos over the goddess!

With a smile a day keeps a bad day away!

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be quite, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Becuase only then does one feel that all isas it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
Anne Frank..

Joke time na lang tayo... :)

(sana matawa naman kayo... para sa effort ko..)

Dear Pepsi,
Alam mo bang cokes na cokes ako sayo?! Royal ka pa naman pero lagi mo akong
iniisprite... Naalala mo pa ba nang pumunta tayo sa mountain dew, sumakay pa nga tayo ng red horse at muntik pa nga tayong tangayin ni gold eagle beer?!

Nagmamahal,
Toba...

tawa na yan...

Hindi na ako aasa pa sayo...
Hindi ka naman magiging akin...
Hindi na kita iisipin...
Hindi na kita bibigyan ng space sa utak at puso ko...
Hindi na kita titingnan...
Hindi na katulad ng dati ang ngayon...
Hinding - hindi na...
Hindi ka naman siguro talaga para sakin...
Hindi man talaga dahil nga para ka sa kanya...
Hintayin ko na lang ung para sa akin...
Hindi na rin siya matatagalan sa pagdating...
Hindi na rin ako makapaghintay...
Hinding - hindi na...

Tula ni Bu para kay............Rai :)
(grabe sa frustration si Bu kay Rai oh...Hindi naman talaga kasi sila bagay!)

Tssk, tssk, tssk!...
Hmmmmm...
Ala man aq maisip ngayon!
Ikaw lang...







Miss na kasi kita...

...Soo Hard...

It's just so hard to speak...
when your inside your weak...
It's just so hard to smile...
when inside your idle...
It's just so hard to laugh...
when inside your crying...
It's just so hard to walk...
when inside your trembling...
It's just so hard to move on...
when inside your afraid...
It's just so hard to go on...
when your alone...
It's just so hard without God...

...No One Else Knows...

This is mhe....

I seemed to be a happy go lucky type of person... but in the inside???... I'm broken...Thanks God, He's always there to fix it...

This Is For You...For You Alone...

-Masaya Lang Ako-

Alam kong marami ang nagdadalamhati sa oras na ito dulot ng malulungkot na pangyayari sa kani-knilang buhay. Katulad sa bansang Mexico, marami ngayon ang mga nagdadalamhati dulot ng sakit o virus na swine flu, maging sa ibang bansa na rin na unti-unti na ngang kinakain ng virus. Pero ipagpaumanhin niyo po, dahil hindi ko kayo ngayon majajamingan dahil ako ay masaya ngayon...:)
Bakit nga ba ako masaya ngayon???...HIndi ko rin alam, hindi pala nahihiya lang ako sainyo...(hehehe) Alam ko kasi na kapag malaman niyo ung buong kwento ay pagtatawanan niyo lang ako... Kaya napagpasyahan kong sabihin na lang para hindi ako maging selfish at baka sabihin niyo pang pinabibitin ko kayo...Kaya ito na ang kwento ko sa araw na ito, dito lang yan sa Your Blog, My Blog, now na!
(Dapat detelyado) Alas onse ng umaga o tanghali na at ng ako ay magising dahil na rin sa sikat ng bumbilya dito sa kwarto namin at sa mga maingay na tunog na dulot ng musika na pinapatunog ng aking kapatid at bawat bukas ng aming pintong akalain mo bang parang higante ang bumubukas sa dulot ng ingay. Pagkabangon ko sa aking higaan (siyempre) ay dumiretso na ako sa banyo nagwewe tapos hilamus tapos labas at balik ng kuwarto. Pagpasok ko ng kuwarto at pagkapunas ko ng aking mukha ay naghanda na rin ung mga kasama ko ng aming tanghalian. Pagkatapos kumain ay humarap na ako sa aking buddy si Potpot (ang aking toptop). Binuksan ko ang aking yahoo messenger, matapos ang ilang minuto (papalapit na tayo sa climax!) ay may nagpop - up sa aking Potpot na sobra kong ikinasiya at aaminin ko sainyo medyo mayroong kilig factor na rin...(nnnnnnnnaaakkkkkzzzzzz) Tapos un, gusto niya pala mkipagchat, siyempre tao lang naman ako at kabataan na nakakaramdam ng kilig at pagtibok-tibok ng puso (kuno) kaya nireplayan ko...Nagtataka at naninibago man ako sa mga pakikitungo niya sa akin ay naging masaya na lang ako at ineenjoy ko na lang (walang basagan ng trip). At hangang ngayon habang ginagawa ko ito ay kachat ko siya (oh dba inspired!hahaha). Hayaan niyo na ako ngayon, masaya lang...:) For short kachat ko crush ko....At dito po nagtatapos ang aking kwento...Hangang sa muli...Paalam!

...To Love is To Lose...

To love is to lose...That is what I've learned for this past few days...It's the hardest thing to do, the bravest and the heroic. If you really love someone you have love him or her without condition or exemption- that you just love this person because of something but because of LOVE, nothing more nothing less...When you love someone you have to ready to lay all your cards, you have to give up your dreams. goals in life, you have to give all the things that could give happiness to your love one, you have to love that person with all your heart and all of who you are and the worst and bravest thing is you have to give up your life for person...That's what you call love...It's the rigid sacrifice that you can ever make to your love one...And Jesus have set the best example of it...Jesus showed His true love to us by giving everything for the sake of our own happiness. He gave up His thrown, His possessions, His name, even His life...for us...for you and me...Isn't it amazing and privileged to know that Jesus who is the Son of God, the King of all Kings, the Son of the Creator of the earth loves you and me besides our sinful acts, our wrong doings???...Isn't it a great news that we will not anymore suffer to hell because of the sins that we've done because of this Man who gave up His life for us??? Aren't we supposed to be happy and thankful to God because of what He have done to us??? That He let lose His Son for the sake of our own happiness??? Truly that God is a loving God, a wonderful God, an Everlasting and Our Creator and Savior in the Name of Jesus...
Now I realize that I've never love anything,and anyone yet. For my 21 years of existence here in this earth, I've realize that I've never showed love to anyone or anything, it's because I've never did those things in my life or if ever I did I thought of myself, my selfish self...For example in my circle of friends, I just love them for the reason that I need them in my ups and down in life. Upon accepting Jesus, I've realize that I'm wrong, self-centered and selfish in my love to my friends. I should never think of my own benefit but of what benefit others. I should love them not for the reason that i need them but of we need each other in our life. Another example is my family, God made me realize that I've been again selfish of my love to them. I just love them because I'm too dependent on them and I'm afraid to be loose them and I'm afraid all alone...And it's really true that I can't afford to loose them and hurt them especially, but according to the Bible specifically in 1 Corinthians 13:6, "it (love) does not rejoice at wrongdoing , but rejoices with truth," love would never be happy with lies. And keeping them in my arms forever without showing them and expressing my true love would be foolishness to them and to my part... That's why I'm preparing myself to truly love them by letting them happy and not too much dependent on them but rather to God. I know it really hurt to oppose what they would want you to do but I will be fool and selfish to myself and to God if I obey them which I can't forgive myself. I'd rather obey God now than any man. I'd rather be with Him than anyone else in this world. Thanks to God for adopting me, for being my true Father in heaven and in earth...
We may face a lot of challenges in our life such this but God is reminding us that He will always be there for us...Hebrew 13:5," I will never leave you nor forsake you..."
And now, I'm learning to lose myself to others, to somethings because I'm ready to love...
John 3:16,"for God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life," tells of the great meaning of love of God to us...Share God and spread love!
G2G=)

...Smile...

It's my expression of myself...
Smile...:)
It's my love to everyone...
Smile...:)
It's what I love to share
Smile...:)
It's my best to say I care to my love ones...
Smile...:)
It's the only treasure in my heart...
Smile...:)
It's my safest home...
Smile...:)
It's one of my best friend...
Smile...:)
My mask to hide my tears...
Smile...:)
The only thing i love to see on everybody's face...
Smile...:)
It's the only thing I have...
Smile...:)
Is one of the best gift I've received from God...

ALWAYS...!!!

Notesbooks...

Notesbooks...

Basahin mo nga...(ung title)! Basahin mo nga ulit...! Isa pa nga...
Marahil ay magtataka ka sa babay (nose bleed) ng salitang binasa mo. Dapat lang dahil ngayon mo lang yan mababasa at dito lang yan sa Pilipinas! (Proud to be Pinoy!) at dito yan mismo sa blog natin...:).Siguro ay atat na kayong malaman kung ano talga meron sa "Notesbooks"...Sige na nga hindi ko na papatagalin...Tarararaaaaannn...


Notesbooks, samahang nabuo lang kahapon sa loob ng isang bahay ng isang miyembro (maya na yong pangalan) na kinabibilangan ng apat na mga sadyang masisipag, gwapo, magaganda at masayahin na mga tagapaglingkod ni J...Kami, sabi ko nga ay binubuo ng apat na miyembro na itatago natin sa mga pangalang Rairai, Rhiz, Dha,Dexter...
Huwag kayong mag-alala, normal kaming kabataan kahit medyo hindi ganun yong pangalan namin...Huwag ka, grabe effort namin sa pg-isip niyan! Ganito kasi yan, nabanggit ni Riz ung salitang "notesbooks" ng hindi sinasadya kasi nabasa niya sa notebook na siya namang tatak nung notbok nga na bigay ko naman...Tapos un, isip kami...tsk, tsk, tsk...Wala talga kami mapiga sa utak naming tuyo na sa oras na iyon dahil sa init at wlang laman pang tiyan (siguro)...Sa wakas, after 48 years nakaisip din kami at un ayyyyyyyyyy......"Notesbooks"....!!!!

Pero bakit nga ba Notesbooks??? Siyempre lahat ngbagay ay may kanya-kanyang paliwanag kung bakit merong ganun. merong ganito, blah, blah...
Notesbooks kasi, san moh ba sinusulat kapag ikaw ay my kwento na gustong isulat? O hindi kaya san mo ba sinusulat ang iyong lahat na napakinggan sa isang talkayan o hindi kaya seminar? Saan mo ba nailalabas lahat ng saloobin mo at maging ang mga matitindi mong sikreto o kahit ang lahat ng nangyari sau sa isang araw?? Hindi ba sa isang kwaderno( nose bleed again)? Un nga lng tinatago natin ito upang walang sinuman ang makakabasa...Ngunit ibahin niyo poh kami, alinsunod sa layon ng aming grupong maibahagi ang aming buhay sa ibang kabataan upang patotoo kung panu kami binabago ng Tagapagligtas na si J, amin po itong bubuksan para sa lahat- matanda. kabataan, bata, lalaki, babae, may ngipin o wala basta tao. At nais din po naming sa bawat pahina ng aming "Notesbooks" ay lalo kayong mainganyo o mainspire...Nais din sana naming ibahagi sainyo aming nag-iisang Bro na siyang dahilan ng pagkabuo ng grupong ito at nais din naming ipaabot sa lahat na maging kayo po ay mahal na mahal ni Bro kaya naman batid naming kahit kayo ay magkakaroon na ng "Notesbooks" upang sulatan ng inyong sariling buhay sa piling ni Bro..
Hanggang sa muli...Inyong lingkod Rairai ng "Notesbooks"...


Para sa buong impormasyon ng grupo lipat lang kayo sa www.notesbooks47.blogspot.com

...LOVE?!...

Is this love?

I'm always thinking of him...
I always miss him...
I always dream of his face...
I always long for his presence...
I always want to be on his side...
I always love to talk with him...
Is this really what you call love???....
Hope not...:(
Coz I'm afraid to fall...
Kasi, Kasi, Kasi...
May pobia ako sa heights...:)

Hindi ko alam....

Hindi ko alam kung bakit napapasayaw ako kahit walang tugtug... Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako napapaiyak ng mga teleserye na alam ko namang hindi totoo... Hindi ko alam kung bakit ginagawa ko pa rin kahit alam kung panget... Hindi ko alam kung bakit gustong gusto ko mang-inis lagi... Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ako kumilos...(lalaki daw) Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ganito ako ngayon... Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ayaw ko pang umalis dito sa harapan ng toptop... Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit hindi gumagana isip ko ngayon... Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit hindi ko matapos pagkain ko ngayon... Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit pinost ko ito... Bakit kaya??? Hindi ko alam...

...I Think I'm in Love...

I think I'm in love, I think I'm in love

I can see butterflies flying above
I can smell the scent of air that's full of love
And blushing heart is the only thing I have
And as I kneel with my Hands and eyes closed,
I just pray that the One above
Would never let this feeling fade...

La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la- ba dami...!aaaaaa.....

Paglalaba, isang gawaing madalas gawin ng isang babae. Pero sa panahon ngayon, kahit lalaki ay gumagawa rin nito. At dahil babae ako at ako ay marami ng labahan kaya naman ginawa ko ang bagay na pinaka ayaw ko, ang paglalaba. Kung minsan sa buhay natin, hindi talaga maiwasan na .gumawa ng mga bagay na labag sa kalooban mo. Katulad na lang ng ginawa ko alang-alang na lang sa aking pangangailangan. Tama b ako?...
Hindi nga naman biro ang paglalaba. Lakas, tibay ng mga muscle mo sa katawan, tiyaga at marami pang iba ang iyong panlaban sa mga maruruming labahing iyong lalabhan. Kakailanganin mo ng tubig, batya, tabo, brush, tabla sa pagbrush, at higit sa lahat sabon at pampabango pagkatpos ng huling banlaw. Kita niyo, ang dami talaga nating paarte sa paglalaba lang. Pati pala sa paglalaba meron ng pabango. Pinoy talga! Aniways, punta na tayo sa paglalaba, ang unang ginagawa (kung kayo ay ngalalaba) ay ang pagbanlaw ng lahat ng damit bago sabunin. Pagkatpos banlawan ay saka ibabad sa sabon pagkatpos ng ilang minuto ay pwede ng kusutin (diba?!). Matapos ng madibdibang kusutan ay ang kamay sa kamay na banlawan. At pagkatapos ng tatlong banlaw saka na pabanguhan ng gusto mong pabango. At para sa pinakamadali at pinakahihintay na part ng paglalaba ay ang pagsampay sa sampayan. Sa huling bahaging iyon ng iyong gawain ay iyong masasabi sa iyong sarili na isa itong malaking tagumpay! Nariyan ang iyong pasasalamat, paghinga ng tuwid at kasiyahan sa kabila ng sakit at pagod na iyong nararamdaman...Haaaaayy, sa wakas natapos din!
Ang paglalaba ay isang kapamaraanan upang malinis natin ang ating maruruming damit. Alam kong marami pa tayong mga personal na bagay na palagi nating nililinisan upang iwas sa mga bacteria o dumi na maaaring makasira ng ating kalusugan o ating katawan.Marami na nga ngayong mga naiimbentong mga sinasabing makakatulong upang mapuksa ang anumang dumi. Pero marami pa rin din naman ang nagkakasakit at namamatay...Ito nga lang ang pinagtatakahan ko, bakit kaya sobra tayong konsiyos sa ating panlabas na anyo samantalang sa panloob hindi natininiintindi kung minsan?! Kungtatanungin kita, ilang beses mo ba nililinisan ang iyong pagkatao?, ilang beses mo bang labhan ang iyong pagkato?. Oh, baka naman suot ka lang ng suot kahit marumi???
Katulad din ng paglalaba, hindi biro ang paglalaba ng isang sarili mula sa karumihan na kanyang nagagawa o ginagawa. Kakailanganin mo dito ang pagpapakumbaba, pagmamahal, sincerity, at handang loob na magpalinis. Hindi mo na kailangan ng batya, tubig o kahit anumang gamit panglaba dahil sa aking irerekomendang sabon at mga kagamitan ay nakakasiguro akong linis ang iyong pagkatao at forever kang titingkad...
Batid nating lahat na LAHAT tayo ay makasalanan ( cnu indi?! ) o marumi ang damit (pagkatao) kaya naman kailangan nating linisan o labhan kahit papaanu ito upang maganda din namang tingnan. KOrek?! At ang tanging solusyon diyan ay ang paghingi natin ng lahat ng ating kasalanan sa ating Diyos. Kung sa paglalaba ay may unang banlaw sa ating paglalaba ng ating pagkatao naman ay ang paglapit sa Diyos.Kasunod nito ang paghingi ng tawad nga sa lahat ng ating kasalanan at ang pagpapanatili nating malinis sa pamamagitan ng pagsunod sa lahat ng Kanyang utos at mamuhay ng ayon sa Kanyang nais...Huwag kang mag-alala kahit mahirap yan, hindi ka naman Niya pababayaan, katulad sa paglalaba matatapos ka rin ng masaya at maluwag sa dibdib kahit nakakapagod at alam mong labag ito sa gusto mo. Basta huwag ka lang maiilang na lumapit sa Kanya katulad ng paglapit ng maruming damit sa batya... Katulad ng batya, handa Siya at naghihintay kung kelan mo gustong magpalaba...Don't wori libre lang magpalaba sa Kanya...
Marami pa sana akong gusto sabihin sa paglalaba ng iyong sarili pero mas maganda siguro kayo na mismo ang tumuklas ng ilang bagay para sa sarili nyong pang-unawa. Basahin nyo na lang ung no 1 best selling book (alam nyo na un), panigurado marami kayong malalaman doon patungkol sa inyong sarili at sa paglalaba ng iyong sarili...
Oh, anu, handa ka nang magpalaba??Oh, bukas na lang...?? Tandaan mo, nasa huli ang pagsisisi...

Wish You Knew...

I love you
These are the words I want to tell you...
But my tongue would just back off...
I want to hug you
This what my arms would want to do...
But my arms would cripple...
I care for you
This my heart shouts when you feel alone...
but it's just my heart that could hear it...
I'm here for you
This I want you to know when you lose hope...
But this I'm afraid to let you know...
I want to be with you
This I want to shout on you...
But too many words would clash on those...
How could I then show my care for you?...
My longingness to you?...
And my Love for you?...
Wish you knew...

Hindi Ko Naman Sinasadya...

Hindi ko naman sinasadyang mahulog. Hindi ko lang talga nakita. Hindi, hindi ko lang talaga nakita at napansin. Marahil siguro marami akong naiisip sa oras n yaon o hindi kaya marami akong napapansin sa aking paligid. Meron din kasi akong hinihintay kaso nga lang ang tagal niyang dumating. Nabagot, nainis hanggang hindi ko na kaya. Kaya ayun, umalis na lang ako. Dala-dala ang bigat sa dibdib naglakad ako. At sa paglalakad kong yaon, hindi kita napansin, marahil nung una, at nung ako'y mahulog sayo saka ko napagtantong nahulog n nga ako.
Sobra akong nainis, labis na nanghinayang, nagsisi dahil sa katangahan kong ginawa. Alam kong hindi dapat ako nahulog kung naging maingat lang ako. Alam kong hindi sana ako nahulog kung nakatingin lang ako sa aking dinaraanan. At higit sa lahat hindi ako nahulog kung hindi ako naging tanga...Pasensya na, hindi ko naman sinasadyang mahulog sa isang imburnal...




hindi poh ako ito...

I Hate Crying...

Crying, crying, I hate crying
For when it hit me, it makes me dying
I can't do anything
But let the tears on my cheeks running
Every night my pillows are wet
With the tears i let
The blanket I cover to hide my tears
To let it not enter my ears
My heart breaks
And my body's weak
In a dark and cold night
My hearts I can't fight
Crying, crying, I hate crying
For when it hit me, it makes me dying...